Life Wants So Badly To Live
On more than one occasion the sight of this weed growing through the pavement behind my apartment has moved me to tears because on more than one occasion, I woke up in my apartment disappointed that I was alive.
On more than one occasion the sight of this weed growing through the pavement behind my apartment has moved me to tears because on more than one occasion, I woke up in my apartment disappointed that I was alive. Disappointed because I didn't know what to do. Career wise. Relationship wise. Hairline wise. Grief, depression, anxiety wise. Disappointed because the landscape that was being presented to me didn't match the landscape that I had planned out in my head – & there were often times that I'd lost the motivation to live.
Then I'd walk outside to my car and I see this weed. A weed that wasn't planted intentionally. A weed that no one in particular loves or cares about. A weed that has no pretty flowers or distinguishing features. A weed whose very existence was supposed to be thwarted by what it is surrounded by.
I get so moved because it wants to live so badly that it makes no difference to it that it's surrounded by asphalt and not wildflowers. It taught me that life, the essence of life, just wants to live. Regardless of the circumstances, life in nature always searches for a way to continue.
As far as I know this weed can't create art. It can't feel love or joy. It can't think critically or make complex movements with its body. Nah, this weed is destined to be where it is for the rest of its life. It hasn't a fraction of the capacity for life that I do and yet, through the only opportunity it got, it still fought to live. And now, not only is it living, it's thriving.
When we're always listening to what other people say we should be doing with our lives, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking you're not doing enough. It's easy to convince yourself that your life isn't worth living just because you don't have what others have or you don't have what you think you should have or because things aren't going like you planned. But always remember that you were blessed with a life for the sole purpose of living it.
Even if you're surrounded by asphalt.
Even if society says you're undesirable.
Even if you must stand alone.
Live.